Top Gun

One line review: Take your standard action movie, remove 60% of the action and replace it with bromance.

Movie Title: Top Gun

Actors: Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards, Tom Skerritt, Michael Ironside, John Stockwell, Barry Tubb, Rick Rossovich, Tim Robbins, Clarence Gilyard Jr., Whip Hubley

Director: Tony Scott

Year: 1986

Genre: Action / Drama

Method of Viewing: DVD

Location of Viewing: Home

Viewing with: No One

Rotten Tomatoes: 46% – Once Top Gun gets back to earth, the master of the skies is as clunky as a big land-bound bird.

My rating: **

My assessment (the first 101 words at least): It’s difficult for me to figure out if this movie was ruined for me simply by the boring plot, or by Tom Cruise current crazy antics distracting me whenever he was on screen. Either way, this movie seems like it was made to be on Rifftrax only, and never actually taken seriously. Even if you can muscle your way through an hour of mostly boring scenes of the drama of fighter pilot school, the action itself is too chaotic to actually follow. This movie simply feels empty, as though it’s struggling to fill time with half-naked guys and playing Danger Zone.

I honestly feel like the very first thing I have to address is the gay overtones throughout the entire movie. Maybe it proves how boring this movie is that rather than simply watch it I felt compelled to imagine how easily this movie could be reshot to have a romantic relationship between Maverick and Goose. I don’t know if the director simply wanted to put emphasis on how these are all young and highly competitive men, or if it was just to attract the female crowd. Either way, it’s completely laughable.

What’s even more laughable is that this is considered by some to be a good action movie. The action scenes in this movie were most likely expensive, so they had to limit what they could do. However, the result is just a boring string of men getting pissy at each other till the next time they have an excuse to go flying again.

The only other thing I have to complain about is the music. This was apparently one of the first movies to release a soundtrack, and I’m not surprised that people found the music memorable when it was replayed a thousand times. Seriously, they had to have played “Take my breath away” and “Danger Zone” at least 5 times each in this movie. It’s infuriating. I hope I never hear either of those songs again, because it will remind me of Top Gun.

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