The Boondock Saints

April 22, 2012


One line review: The Boondock Saints is a dumb movie with so much style that it almost passes as good.

Movie Title: The Boondock Saints

Actors: Willem Dafoe, Sean Patrick Flanery, Norman Reedus, David Della Rocco, Billy Connolly, David Ferry, Brian Mahoney, Bob Marley, Richard Fitzpatrick

Director: Troy Duffy

Year: 1999

Genre: Action

Method of Viewing: DVD

Location of Viewing: Home

Viewing with: No One

Rotten Tomatoes: 17% – A juvenile, ugly movie that represents the worst tendencies of directors channeling Tarantino.

My rating: **

My assessment (the first 101 words at least): This movie is absolutely stupid. The protagonists are ridiculously lucky, their enemies are idiotic, and everything seems to conveniently go there way. However this movie also has about a gallon of style and cool shots poured over it. The end results is a movie that you can somewhat enjoy with your mind turned off. I completely agree with the critics that considered this to be an ugly action movie, but it has a handful of cool moments that at least made it not a complete waste of time. I was braced for a bad action movie, and got what I expected.


The Cannonball Run

January 22, 2012

One line review: The Cannonball Run

Movie Title: The Cannonball Run

Actors: Burt Reynolds, Roger Moore, Farrah Fawcett, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Jack Elam, Adrienne Barbeau, Terry Bradshaw, Jackie Chan, Bert Convy, Jamie Farr

Director: Hal Needham

Year: 1981

Genre: Comedy

Method of Viewing: DVD

Location of Viewing: Home

Viewing with: No One

Rotten Tomatoes: 31% – Nonsense but fun nevertheless with a crazy ensemble cast of celebrities of the era.

My rating: **

My assessment (the first 101 words at least): This movie is just a series of crappy gags strung together in something vaugely resembling a plot. There is occasionally a joke or gag that can actually get a laugh, but for the most part this movie is a forgettable mess. I assume it was considered memorable for the big fight scene at the end, and honestly that scene alone is why this movie isn’t a one star. I have no intention of looking into the sequel and will probably even avoid looking at any other Burt Reynold movies. I just don’t know why anyone would enjoy this silly, stupid, movie.


History of the World Part I

July 11, 2011

One line review: A handful of good jokes don’t make up for an overall boring film.

Movie Title: History of the World Part I

Actors: Mel Brooks, Dom DeLuise, Madeline Kahn, Harvey Korman, Cloris Leachman, Ron Carey, Gregory Hines, Pamela Stephenson, Shecky Greene, Sid Caesar, Mary-Margaret Humes, Orson Welles

Director: Mel Brooks

Year: 1981

Genre: Comedy

Method of Viewing: DVD

Location of Viewing: Home

Viewing with: No One

Rotten Tomatoes: 62% – Mel Brooks’ The History of the World: Part I contains plenty of belly-shaking laughs.

My rating: **

My assessment (the first 101 words at least): This film was at it’s best when it was doing short and small jokes at the beginning. As the film tries to expand more into something resembling a plot the jokes become fewer, more vulgar, and overall less original. This is a film where you barely even need the audio as almost everything is a visual gag, with 50% of the gags being racist, sexual, or religious. After a while you simply get tired of crappy jokes and want the film to end. There is no need to watch this film again, nor much need to watch it the first time.


Friday the 13th

April 18, 2011

One line review: The film that represents so many of the horror genres has not aged well as it’s shock value diminishes.

Movie Title: Friday the 13th

Actors: Betsy Palmer, Adrienne King, Jeannine Taylor, Robbi Morgan , Kevin Bacon, Harry Crosby, Laurie Bartram, Mark Nelson, Peter Brouwer, Rex Everhart, Ronn Carroll

Director: Sean S. Cunningham

Year: 1980

Genre: Horror

Method of Viewing: DVD

Location of Viewing: Home

Viewing with: No One

Rotten Tomatoes: 60% – …perhaps more than any other film, it helped to popularize the slasher genre and codify the formula.

My rating: **

My assessment (the first 101 words at least): I think this movie servers as a good example for why psychological horror movies deserve to be promoted so much higher over those that rely on shocking, gruesome deaths. Nightmare on Elm Street shows some of it’s age, but it’s still a unique idea that can haunt you when you sleep. Friday the 13th seems to have had almost no impact on me. It probably doesn’t help that some of the more memorable scenes are ones I’ve already seen clips of, just because this movie was so iconic. It may have influenced many before, but it seems to lack something original.


E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial

March 21, 2011

One line review: The classic film may be impressive to children back in the 1980s, but it doesn’t hold up when an adult views it in modern times.

Movie Title: E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial

Actors: Dee Wallace, Henry Thomas, Peter Coyote, Robert MacNaughton, Drew Barrymore, K.C. Martel, Sean Frye, C. Thomas Howell

Director: Steven Spielberg

Year: 1982

Genre: Adventure

Method of Viewing: DVD

Location of Viewing: Home

Viewing with: No One

Rotten Tomatoes: 98% – It’s a simple beautiful story about loneliness, friendship, and the bittersweet pangs of childhood.

My rating: **

My assessment (the first 101 words at least): I just could not enjoy this film. Anything that is considering a childhood classic usually has trouble holding up for me. Further add in that a large portion of the excitement for this movie stems from Speilberg’s special effects. Even though the special effects stand the test of time, they are no longer something wonderful enough to carry the movie. What’s left is a harmless, innocent tale, but nothing that interests me in anyway. I really think the majority of the fun from this movie has to come form a child’s view, and I can’t appreciate it for any thing else.


Rambo

December 26, 2010

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One line review: An entertaining action series that seems to hit all the cliches, but somehow doesn’t abuse them.

Movie Title: First Blood, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Rambo III

Actors: Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Brian Dennehy, Bill McKinney, Jack Starrett, Michael Talbott, Chris Mulkey, John McLiam, Alf Humphreys, David Caruso, Charles Napier, Steven Berkoff, Julia Nickson, Martin Kove, George Cheung, Andy Wood, William Ghent, Voyo Goric, Dana Lee, Baoan Coleman, Steve Williams, Kurtwood Smith, Spiros Focás, Sasson Gabai, Doudi Shoua, Randy Raney, Marcus Gilbert, Alon Aboutboul, Mahmoud Assadollahi

Director: Ted Kotcheff, George P. Cosmatos, Peter MacDonald

Year: 1982, 1985, 1988

Genre: Action / Adventure

Method of Viewing: DVD

Location of Viewing: Home

Viewing with: No One

Rotten Tomatoes: 86% – The film that introduced John Rambo is a gripping survival adventure with an emotional ending that’s downright moving. Jerry Goldsmith contributes an excellent musical score.

29% – Far from credible, but a terrific, cheer-out-loud action film nevertheless. Immediately and deservedly made Stallone’s John Rambo a great individualistic screen hero to rival Eastwood’s Dirty Harry.

36% – Always at ground zero in the chaos is Rambo — gloriously, inhumanly impervious to fear and danger — whose character is inhabited by Stallone with messianic intensity.

My rating: **

My assessment (the first 101 words at least): What a strange jump from movie to movie for a trilogy. Despite the fact that the critics rate Rambo so high and it’s sequels so low, I found myself liking all of the movies about equally, although always for different reasons. However, overall I’m not terribly impressed by the series. First Blood starts with an impressive plot, but I don’t enjoy the nearly silent Rambo who ends up giving a dramatic yet completely impossible to understand final speech at the end. Rambo II and III have some decent action, but are ultimately forgettable. There’s some decent action, but not much else.


Reservoir Dogs

July 9, 2010

One line review: It’s a movie that dripping with style, too bad that’s about all that it has in terms of entertainment.

Movie Title: Reservoir Dogs

Actors: Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Chris Penn

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Year: 1992

Genre: Drama

Method of Viewing: DVD

Location of Viewing: Home

Viewing with: No One

Rotten Tomatoes: 95% – You may not like the terms Tarantino sets, but you have to admit he succeeds on them.

My rating: **

My assessment (the first 101 words at least): I’m quickly learning to hate Quinten Tarintino movies. I really don’t understand where the entertainment value is supposed to come from in any of his movies. Am I supposed to be entertained just by watching these character complain and tell stories to each other? Am I supposed to be entertained by the different stories and out of order story telling? These movies are simply boring to me, a collection of strange scenes, useless characters, and one or two cool scenes that have somehow become etched into movie memory. These movies are all style, no substance, and just no fun at all.